apparently i could

yay!

 

neways... i found this doing research on Søren Aabye Kierkegaard

 

 

Thou sovereign of my heart treasured in the deepest fastness of my chest, in the fullness of my thought, there ... unknown divinity! Oh, can I really believe the poet's tales, that when one first sees the object of one's love, one imagines one has seen her long ago, that all love like all knowledge is remembrance, that love too has its prophecies in the individual. ... it seems to me that I should have to possess the beauty of all girls in order to draw out a beauty equal to yours; that I should have to circumnavigate the world in order to find the place I lack and which the deepest mystery of my whole being points towards, and at the next moment you are so near to me, filling my spirit so powerfully that I am transfigured for myself, and feel that it's good to be here.

—Søren Kierkegaard, Journals

can i email my post

i wonder if i could... hmmm...

waiting

i sit on the sidelines
chin on my palms
elbows on my knees
i stare
i observe
i wish
i wait
i look over at the coach
he looks back
without words
but his gaze told me
"your turn will come"
sweat trinkles down my temple
i exhale
and inhale
a fresh breath of patience

life...

i hate feeling as if everyone else's life is going along smoothly, while all these trials and unpleasant circumstances have been dropped along my path. i know this isn't true, but at least it seems as if those who do have some sort of issue, their issue seems less heavy than mine. Lord?! why?

i'm tired. quitting sounds very tempting - but even that i don't know how to do.

i don't know... that's all i can say... i don't know. why did things have to happen, all at the same time?

home

i grew up in a house where plenty of bamboo trees grew in the back. i miss those afternoons, when the breeze would move the bamboos and you could hear the rustling of the leaves. and i loved taking naps in my grandparent's bedroom where the bed was so soft and cozy, classical music was playing, and the lighting was just perfect as the curtains partially blocked the warm sun. that's a freeze worthy moment. i guess this is why i love classical music, because it reminds me so much of those peaceful afternoons in mama and papa's room. very comforting. the music and the bamboos lulled me to sleep.

now we have bamboo floors, i miss those days even more.