life...

i hate feeling as if everyone else's life is going along smoothly, while all these trials and unpleasant circumstances have been dropped along my path. i know this isn't true, but at least it seems as if those who do have some sort of issue, their issue seems less heavy than mine. Lord?! why?

i'm tired. quitting sounds very tempting - but even that i don't know how to do.

i don't know... that's all i can say... i don't know. why did things have to happen, all at the same time?

home

i grew up in a house where plenty of bamboo trees grew in the back. i miss those afternoons, when the breeze would move the bamboos and you could hear the rustling of the leaves. and i loved taking naps in my grandparent's bedroom where the bed was so soft and cozy, classical music was playing, and the lighting was just perfect as the curtains partially blocked the warm sun. that's a freeze worthy moment. i guess this is why i love classical music, because it reminds me so much of those peaceful afternoons in mama and papa's room. very comforting. the music and the bamboos lulled me to sleep.

now we have bamboo floors, i miss those days even more.